week 9: time
The ever elusive concept of optimizing my time resulting in maximum output and proficiency. This has been a foreign concept most of my life spawning from a chronically late/procrastinator household. Learning to time manage and prioritize has been a VERY real struggle and forever pursuit.
The idea of maximizing time to realize my full potential sounds nice. Is it realistic? I’m not entirely sure and I’d love to explore that for myself. As some of my previous posts have insinuated… I am struggling. I realize this is reality and this is okay. I also realize I need to let go of my perfectionist attitude in order to thrive in my constant state of survival! This being said… is there anything in my current life that can be eliminated?
I have a single day a week that is free of obligations. Other than that one golden and joyous day… I am eyeballs deep in studio hours, homework, classes, interning, taking care of my dog, commuting and working. Not to mention.. attempting to have a single conversation with a loved one every once in a while. There is never enough time!
The ONLY moments of mindless time wasting I allot myself is commute time and brainless scrolling through social media before bed. HOLD UP! I actually use my commute time for phone calls or zoning out as a form of self care. So really JUST the brainless scrolling time.
Is this self care… OR… is this self sabotage? I’ve been telling myself this is also a form of self care. I fully enjoy peeking into my friends lives, but there is a tipping point where I eventually spiral into the black hole of aimless scrolling when I know I should be sleeping.
This week I would like to begin an intentional practice of allowing myself time for the friendship aspect of social media and then detaching myself from my phone in order to actually sleep at healthy times. I know it’s possible. Do I have the mental fortitude to tell myself no when I starting to feel like every hour of every day is used in full productivity mode?
I’d like to think I have the strength for this simple assignment. TBD on the results…
Time rant done.
