week 11: strength
I truly have an aversion towards the common interview question, “What would you say is your biggest weakness?” I feel a particular trigger towards the word “weakness” because of the negative weight that word holds for women particularly. I’m past thinking of myself as weak, and living in a place of mid-conquering my areas of improvement. At this point in my life I’d change the wording and say back, "My biggest opportunities for improvement….. etc.”
Improvement 1: The fact that I have a mad case of imposter syndrome on a regular basis. This whole mindset is a daily struggle and I plan on not making it a lifelong struggle. I’m the person in a room who suffers from feeling small or unqualified in the shadow of potential competing peers for the same job position. I’m a firm believer that I’ll never know everything and someone will most likely always be better than me at most things. I’m being realistic, but this mindset also breeds a lack of confidence and self critique. It has lead me down a path of shying away from attention and failing to be recognized for accomplishments.
The plot Twist: This mindset has allowed me to recognize talent in others and use this to fuel my drive to be excellent. I wouldn’t say I’m competitive, but that I like to know where the bar is being raised in order to surpass that bar if possible. I will never be the person satisfied with feeling small and instead choose to use it to fuel my drive to be excellent.
Improvement 2: I have a tendency to zone into my work and forgo food, water, conversations, and life outside of whatever project I’m working on. If you want a machine, as opposed to a warm breathing human being who can have conversations at work, I’m your girl! I’m being dramatic to add a little humor, but in all seriousness it is seldom that I’ve EVER felt allowance to act like my 100% authentic self at work. I’ve always felt the influence of placed expectations or perceived expectations on how you should act in an office. I have this idea in my head of the perfect employee and this plays on repeat in my mind constantly blocking authentic human interactions. Sometimes its easier to observe and listen than to interact. This issue definitely stems from being raised with a mindset of being seen and not heard. Particularly with authority figures holding a place of power in a child’s life (i.e. a classroom). Thus my forever battle with taking off my imaginary muzzle. I’m working towards taking up space and having a voice!
Pulling back from this introspective rabbit hole therapy session! How the heck would I turn this into a strength or less of an area for improvement?
The plot Twist: Just throwing out the first thing that comes to mind here… I’m a naturally gifted listener and observer because of my tendency to hang back. I enjoy seeing how people interact with the world around them before investing in one on one interactions. I find that with one on one interactions, there is less pressure to perform and I genuinely feel like I’ve made quality connections with people. So really I am the kind of employee who focuses on quality interactions and focuses a polarizing amount of energy into my work.
I suppose both these “weaknesses” are learned behaviors that can be unlearned! While recognizing that these “areas of improvement” need some work, I do also genuinely see them as strengths. They just might not be the traditional set of strengths you think of when asked what you excel at within the work place.
My unique strengths!
